Wow. So I am 29 today. E gads! How did that happen! I am knocking on the gates of thirty...I am losing my right to refer to myself as a "twenty-something"......and life is no more defined now than it ever was. Or rather, it is becoming more defined as permanently chaotic. Sheesh.....I wonder if I should get my shit together and "become" something, or if I should just continue to embrace my amorphous existence, and be proud of the eclectic nature of my life. The latter seems easier, as I am in the middle of the Amazon jungle, and not quite feeling the "take control of my life" vibe.....hmm. Something to ponder. (I say that as though I haven't been pondering exactly that since finishing college years ago). Whatever!

We (Dex, David and I) are still living on our hammocks aboard a stinky ship in the harbor of Manaus. It is just within our price limit - free! I have resigned myself to showering with stanky river water.  I just suspend belief and pretend that it is making me more clean than dirty. I am a bit of a wreck, physically. My eyes have some weird infection, so I cant even see this computer screen.  My teeth feel like they are going to fall out of my head. I cant eat anything too hot or too cold. My skin feels like it is made out of wet clay. I can scrape off the top layer with a light swipe of my fingernail. gross gross. Why do I subject myself to this?

I was laying in my hammock when I turned midnight. I wondered if this year would bring anything significant. Wondering if it means anything that for two years in a row I am passing my birthday in this obscure city of Manaus. I wanted a sign.

Then some drunks on the next boat over put on their stereo full blast. "Rock me like a Hurricane" is the first song I heard as a 29 year old. HMmm! Could it mean anything? Then I made a private little resolution to not interpret so much meaning into every little thing. THEN, "Eye of the Tiger" came on, and I wondered if maybe I should change my resolution and interpret EVERYTHING as a sign. "Eye of the Tiger".............this is my new theme song. As I am running that last mile, fighting the hard fight, about to give up, from inside the deepest reaches of my spirit, the tiger shall roar.............durrrr.

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