I have to start by saying that is it so unbelievably hot that I can hardly think.  It is 8 at night, but my clothes are still soaked with sweat, and the meager fan here serves only to stir up the hot air.  ugg! It is like walking through heated curtains....

       Hi! I am in Yurimaguas, at the start of a river that will lead us to the Amazon (at Iquitos).  We took an excruciating 24 hour bus ride here - through the mountains, which means no sleep at all because of all the twisting and sliding .  The comfort level was un-helped by the presence of a sumo sized, shirtless, sweaty man in the seat next to me.  He squished unappealingly up against me at every turn, colonizing my little seat with his ample rolls of sticky flesh.  ick  And then the family of four in the seat in front of me....they ate mangos and dropped the pits on the floor, where they mingled with the vomit of their youngest son.  At one point they decided to have him vomit into a little baggie, which would have been a good idea if the baggie were big enough and didn't have holes in it. The mom just reached behind her and tried to chuck the vomit baggie out of my open window, but it wasn't a clean shot.  SO on my left I had Mr. Snoring-Sweaty-Shirtless....and on my right chunks of little kid mango vomit.  And heat all around. All of this to an unrelenting soundtrack of mindless Peruvian top 40, played at full volume.  Traveling is such fun!

    Anyway, we got here yesterday afternoon, and found a boat to sleep on.  The boat was allegedly leaving this  morning at 10am....so we have been waiting and waiting all day, sweating in our hammocks (despite the presence of numerous windows, these jungle folks for some reason prefer to keep them closed.  it is so stifling!)....and then an hour or so ago it was announced that the boat will now leave "tomorrow sometime".  So, I am a lumpy, atrophied, sweaty hammock sloth, attempting to regain my human form via internet.  It isn't a smooth transition!

    I am traveling not only with Dex, but a Canadian named David who is great fun and serves to diffuse a lot of tension that Dex's eccentricity has caused me.  So, for example, today when the entire upper deck was scandalized by the Crazy Gringo, who was down on the shore, standing in front of a bull, tugging its horns.....I just looked at David and we laughed.  Everyone wanted an explanation for Dex's mad behavior, but we had only our bemused shrugs to offer.

        Ten minutes later when we heard a loud crash of shattering glass, David and I just looked at each other with knowing laughter, for we knew without further investigation that it had to be lovely Dex. He apparently was playing tag with a little girl who sells toilet paper, and ran thru a glass door.  This incident prompted me to contemplate broken windows in my life.  I don't know that I have ever broken a window.  I asked David how many he has broken.  He thought for a while and said, "One, maybe two".....Then Dex appeared, hardly flustered, and I asked him how many windows he has broken in his life, and he said,  "Oh, I don't know, I guess it depends which category.  Do you mean the ones I have broken on purpose?  Or by accident?  Or the ones that were sort of by accident or really on purpose?  Or the ones I have broken while drunk, which is really its own separate category"..........ah!  The lives some people live!

    About 5 minutes later he was apprehended by the boat authorities because he was using his Leatherman tool to take apart the speakers, which had been playing an excruciatingly loud medley of Reggeaton hits. The whole boat was watching in disbelief as he just started taking the speakers apart.  I was glad to have David by my side, so we just hid our laughter behind our hammocks, and acted completely innocent when the boat security interrogated the bunch of us.....

    And yes, the parrot that Dex bought in Chiclayo for 2 dollars (which was apparently a rip off, they say he should have cost 2 soles - 60 cents....for a parrot!).....His name was Mauricio.  A pretty green Amazon parrot, with a particular talent for shitting all over his admirers........He is dead. Broken neck. Some annoying girl selling slices of stale cake was playing with him, squeezing him really hard....and from then on he was just floppy and lifeless.  He died about an hour ago.  It is tragic, but I think merciful.  Dex's shoulder was no home for that guy! But Dex is kinda attached to him still, so he is carrying the dead parrot around in a box. Because, ya know, we aren't gross enough already.   I must admit that I am a little concerned -the ready availability of very cheap monkeys has me a bit nervous about future pets that might be joining us. (you can buy monkeys for 5 dollars!!)

    Alright, my internet time is up, so I am off to my beckoning hammock, and the thrills of yet another night spent in sweaty proximity to a bunch of unhygeinic strangers.  Lovely!

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